Sunday, April 11, 2010

Why I Should Go To New Paltz.

>On the offhand chance that i become a lesbian in the next 4 months, there is a Hooters conveniently located at the halfway mark between my house and New Paltz, New York.

> Located in between Brooklyn and New Paltz is the only IHOP I've ever seen.

>Biker gangs run rampant along the I-87; assless, leather chaps and all.

> The largest Borders and Barnes and Nobles I've ever laid eyes on are scattered along my route upstate = holiday shopping made easy.

> On the way back to Brooklyn I'll pick Liz up a cheeseburger from her favorite garbage gourmet eatery: Burger King.

> The school colors are Atlantic, muggy blue and blazing orange so if college takes a turn for the worst and I'm incarcerated, I'll be more prepared to deal with the problem of accessorizing while resembling a radioactive mandarin.

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