Open Auditions for the position of "Oompa Loompa Calculus Worker Monkey" are being held at 34 Mulberry St Brooklyn, New York, May 7th, 2010 at 3:00 pm.
REQUIREMENTS:
> Received an "A" in a college level calculus course
> Height maximum of 4 feet 10 inches
> Not allergic to avocados, due to payment method which comes in the form of guacamole (three jugs a day) , seasoned by worker's spice preference.
JOB RESPONSIBILITIES:
> Clipping toenails
> Spoon feeding
> Calculus involved subject matter
(NOTE: All should be managed simultaneously.)
Final Notice : Uniform consists of paisley jumpsuit and complementary tennis shoes in varying colors dependent on daily cloud cover. Unsightly bulges will not be tolerated.
No comments:
Post a Comment